I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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