Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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