Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
