and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
