I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize