? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
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