i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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