ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Randomize
