Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
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