I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
