I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
