I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Randomize
