I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
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