Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
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