I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
