Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Randomize
