If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Randomize
