Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
