you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
