Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Your penis caused this!
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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