you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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