If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
