I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
