just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
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