Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
