I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Randomize
