i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
