Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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