he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
