god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Randomize
