that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
My penis needs a shock collar
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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