Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
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