Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
