upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Operation Purity has been aborted
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
