I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
there is puke in my bra ... again
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
