I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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