this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
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