Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
