I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
