so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Randomize
