I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Randomize
