like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
I think im going to throw up on grandma
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Randomize
