she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
