There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
