Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
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