I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Randomize
