Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
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