Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Randomize
