my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
My penis needs a shock collar
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize
