I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
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