I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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