I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Randomize
