We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
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