did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Randomize
