i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
