Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Randomize
