Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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