I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
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