So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
