i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Hippo gnu deer
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
