this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
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