worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
