You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I need to calm my uterus...
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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