I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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