I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
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