Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
