Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
she woke up with a sticky ear
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Randomize