Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
